Assalam Aleykum Dreamers!
Peace be you upon all.
I know right?Long time no blog huh.But it hasn't been THAT long has it?Though to me it definitely feels like ages.Glad to be back Alhamdulillah.
So this post is most definitely long overdue.It's been haunting me constantly,making me rack my brains out like a mad maniac.Lol.Mostly because i felt that i needed to write something deep and well researched regarding this topic.Simply for the fact that its been discussed ad naseaum.So if i was going do this,i was gonna to have to go really big or basically go home.Go home broke.And alone.And rejected.And a failure.And i wasn't really feeling that vibe.
So i procrastinated the writing...and 'researching.'
Until on one dark still saturday night,1.04a.m,battling it out with a fierce flu that just attacked me ruthlessly out of nowhere...i decided enough is enough.
What the hell,i'm just gonna wing it.That's where the best things come from right?Right.
So here i am now.So many things have happened over the past few weeks.Though nothing's peculiar about that.That's just life.But going through my first semester in university,spiritual renewal during Ramadhan,and celebrating Eid,the issue of beauty really took a toll on me.And i guess i was ashamed of admitting that.I don't really know why,perhaps i felt it was kind of shallow.
Being a hijabi (a muslim girl who covers) i've grown up with the perception that beauty just wasn't for me.If i wasn't going to dress up when i was leaving the house like everyone else,what was the point of having all the nice clothes and accessories?The glitz and glamour?
A friend of mine once told me, 'Maryam,the whole point of dressing up is to flaunt what you've got.If you've got it show it off!That's the rule of the game.'
As hard as it may be to admit,many muslim women also think like this.Well,in my country they do.And i don't blame them beacuse i was there too and I could see where such an ideology would come from.A materialistic society.Where everywhere you look,everything you see,strives to constantly remind you of the harsh reality:the one with the most toys wins.The one with the best looks (according to what fits society) gets the job,gets the money,gets the respect and gets the guy...or girl and thus gets the ultimate prize:happiness.
But they lied.They lied to all of us.Muslim,christian,hindu...all of us.They.Just.Lied.
So when Ramadhan came,i saw it as an opportunity to remind myself of what was truly important.Like reaaalllyyy important.Wanting to fit into university,but not wanting to lose yourself either can be one of the most exhilerating,most confusing and difficult things to do.We all want to belong,but at what cost?
My hijab is meant to keep me grounded.And I see it now.It reminds me of what's truly important on a daily basis.It inspires me to better my character,to share with others and open my mind to the beauty that surrounds me.When i look in the mirror,i'm looking at whats within, not the exterior.I'm looking at what i'm representing:my religion.Strenghth.Courage.Beauty.
But most of the time i was too busy focusing on what i looked on the outside and how i wasn't fitting into society.How i wasn't...beautiful.
So i compromised.Which obviously gave me that temporary feeling-high-i'm-on-cloud-nine experience but didn't do me any good because at the end of the day...i just felt like crap.And yeah,we've all had those days.
But then i asked myself why.Why was i having such a difficult time trying to dress for my Creator and not His Creation?Was my self-worth so attached to my clothes and the way i looked that without them i was...nothing?That's when i realised that i was giving waaaayyy to much meaning to the exterior me.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to look beautiful on the outside.Its not shallow,its not dumb.Heck its fulifilling and exciting if you ask me.The question is are you a slave to your looks?Are you a slave to fashion magazines or your hair or make up or all that mumbo jumbo that we are made to believe that without...we're doomed to failure and a life of lonliness with stray cats?Because trust me,life is too beautiful to focus so much on the outside alone.What's going on on the inside?Do you even have an inside?
Don't get me wrong,look good!Feel good!But also read a book.Spend time with old people.Spend time with kids and your family.Learn something new.Get more interested in your religion,heck get interested in other people's religion!Learn who you are.Love yourself and accept yourself.Don't go through life as the kind of person who's always seeking to please people.Because that will only get you to depression avenue.Be true to yourself,your values and most importantly,to The Lord Al-Mighty.Most Merciful,Most Forgiving and in shaa Allah,you'll be fine.We'll all be fine.
'Keep fast on Allah (sw's) commandment and you will find him in front of you.Recognize God in times of prosperity, and He will recognize you in times of hardship.Know that what missed you was never meant to hit you and what hit you was never meant to miss you.Know that success comes with steadfastness and that the relief comes with distress,and that that with hardship comes ease.'(At-Tirmidhi)
Maasalam.I pray you got something fancy from this.Stay true.Stay blessed.xoxo :)