Monday, September 21, 2015

STOP GIRL HATE!

Assalam Aleykum warahmatullahy Wabarakatuh
Hello everyone!!

This is going to be a rant.Sort of.A rant about girl hate.What is girl hate you ask? Girl hate is not necessarily hating someone because they are female,but rather hating someone because society has brainwashed us into thinking that as girls, we should hate other girls because they are our competition.They are the obstacles to our success and happiness.We should hate other girls who are as awesome as or more awesome than ourselves. That there can ever only be one cool girl, one funny girl, one smart girl, etc., in a circle of people.

Source

Image edited by me.

Now i am definitely not a saint.I've had my fair share of girl hate participation, but in my defense, i was really young and immature,and most importantly, INSECURE.I wanted what some poor girl had and i let the green eyed monster get the best of me, and you know what that results in?Unhappiness and more insecurities.But i've grown now.Thank Heavens.But i guess not all of us have grown up and i think that's ok.It is part of the journey.However that does not justify being a mean girl.

I blame society though.We have been raised around a bunch of sexist magazines and movies where women are always competing for the same guy,the same title and male attention that without these things women are made to feel 'incomplete'.And so when we see someone with all these things, we get jealous and even feel a little bit threatened.Or alot. Because we feel that they are either just as awesome as we are or more awesome than us and we just cannot handle that.I made this illustration while racking my brains for some insight to this phenomenon that is Girl hate.



If they receive all the attention,then what about us?We become invisible.Hence we start feeling threatened and self esteem goes out the window.That is until we get the guy again.Or the title back.Or all the attention is on us once more.Even if for a moment.

Hating on another girl because she's prettier,more popular than you, richer, taller, shorter, smarter, curvier or slimmer,whatever the reason,is definitely not going to change your situation.In actuality,the problem is within you.You are the one with the issues.

Personally,i still get feelings of animosity in some situations,but then i am quick to recognize that such feelings only indicate that the problem is with me,not with the other girl.Why am i having such feelings and what do i need to do to change it.Self development is a work in progress.Furthermore,and this is something i feel is key to being genuinely and sincerely happy for the success of others,which is the understanding that whatever people have,that's Allah (sw's) gift to them.And Allah (sw) is the Most Wise and blesses people in different ways.Whatever was meant for you will definitely come to you.If it was not meant for you,it does not matter how much you hate,curse,slander that person,it's just not going to happen so you might as well get with the program.

So to all those ladies who have people hating on them for no damn reason, (assuming that you're a genuinely nice person and do not deserve any crap coming your way) , keep your head up girl you're a queen and you should not be wasting precious time focusing on that negative energy.Focus on doing you as best as you can and improving yourself, and most importantly being happy.
And to all those ladies who are too busy trying to make other girls' lives a living hell because you feel like it,stop tripping and fix yourself.Surely you have better things to do with your time and have so much to offer than you give yourself credit for.

I read a quote recently, and it went something like: 'When you know you are great,you have no reason to hate.' Definitely agreed with it.When you know your worth,when you know who you are and are happy and grateful for the person you are and the person Allah (sw) allowed you to be, you have absolutely no reason, or the time to be going around trying to be someone else or hating someone because they have something you wish was yours.Because you understand that it is not written for you to have that particular thing at that particular time.And so you become motivated and work harder.And for the things that you can not change,you work on accepting them and falling in love with them.

All i am saying is that i am sick and tired of girls hating on other girls just because.You are who you choose to be.Why not be a kind and helpful person?I mean people have enough battles to deal with within themselves they do not need any external issues added on to that.I think it's time we come out of our bubbles and realize that we are all in this together.The more we support each other,the faster we all climb up the ladder.The more female role models we have.Plus,it doesn't take much to be a nice person.

2 comments:

  1. I agree with this post so much!! I think all of us girls had a experience were we were jealous of a certain girl. I think growing up the way we did, it's practically impossible not to. I've never really hurt (said mean things or gossip or whatever) anybody that I was jealous of. But, I completely would understand someone who does. Not that I am saying I think it's okay for girls to hate each other, I just think it's understandable. Because its' really difficult for them not to. But, I am right now on the other side of the coin. I don't think I am a girl anybody should be jealous of, hell, I have very little compared to anyone out there, but a lot of times I get "hate" or people I talk to (girls) saying to me something I did is awful, or wrong, or they would never do it and just put me down, and then do the same thing. I have a difficult time having friends that are girls. I have 3 friends that are girls at the moment, and I can see a lot of jealousy coming from a few of them. And it sucks because if you say that to anybody, they will assume you think too much of yourself and that nobody is jealous of you. But, the truth is, there are girls that are jealous of you, even when they are your friend. I think friendship with girls can be really hard. I've had a lot of drama when it comes to being a good friend with a girl, which is really shitty. There is someone who said this,,, I think it was Rodney King "Why can't we all just get along?"

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    1. Having girlfriends is definitely a hustle,but i guess we still need them.Although i believe in having few girlfriends,three or four girls you genuinely like and trust.The problem comes when they don't feel the same about you and only pretend to.Anyway,maybe one day we'll all get along,until then we try to stop the girl hate :-) And don't stress about the girls hating on you,if you're doing you,keep doing you.After all you can't please everyone :-P

      Thanks for taking the time to read my post!xoxo

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